By Donna Hoffmeyer
(original post on Medium)
For the military, transition is very definitive. We go from a very specific culture and subcultures to the civilian population and it can be a little (okay, very) jarring. Different (in our minds, more laid back) culture; lots and lots of choices (getting dressed is a stressful event now); freedom to say no…I could go on forever. Those that have crossed the transition bridge, whether by separating or retiring, know the importance of the pause. Many that did not take that time have told me “I should have done that.”
In reality, we should learn to pause when we are going through any transition.
Merriam-Webster defines transition as “passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another.” The key word here is “passage”, not immediate change. Yes, some transitions can be quicker than others, but they all occur over a period of time. It is during that time we need to seize the moment(s) for ourselves.
Carpe Diem, baby!
I love analogies. It makes life relatable to me. Let’s use a driving analogy to make my point. Prior to the pandemic, the vast majority of us had to commute to work. There was a period of time where we had to get ready, get in the car, and drive. The drive was a period of transition; moving from home to work (or more enjoyably, from work to home). Whether we realized it or not, what we did during that time made the difference on how we started or ended our day.
What were you doing on your drive? Were you frustrated at all the traffic? Wondering why you are still in this job? Wishing you were still home under the covers? Were you planning your day? Or were you living in the present, grateful for waking up healthy, and enjoying your favorite song that popped up on the radio? When you were on your way home, were you on the phone wrapping up work? (Ugh, so guilty.) Or were you decompressing from the day listening to your favorite music station?
We have many many transitions in life; big ones, small ones, quick ones, and ones that take years. In all of them, there is opportunity for pause. There is time to reflect, consciously collect the lessons you learned, and mentally organize them for future use. There is time to take a deep breath in, pause, and slowly let it out. There is time to feel the release of pent up tension; the joy of living in this precise moment; and excitement and anticipation of the next adventure.
However, when we do not consciously pause, we lose out on an amazing opportunity to listen to our inner (often exhausted and stressed out) selves and provide care to the malnourished parts.
Today, I challenge you to be consciously aware of those moments of transition; pause, breath, and listen to your inner self. It is during the pause we find a little bit of ourselves again.
