By Donna Hoffmeyer
(original post on Medium)
I wrote the original blog article almost 2 years ago. Since then, I’ve picked up a few more tips; and knowing how uncomfortable self-marketing is, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to update and re-share this article.
One day, the uniform has to come off.
The uniform is our billboard, our advertisement, and our initial communication. When it comes off it can feel like we are stepping naked into the civilian world.
Think about it. When we walk into a room, the uniform speaks. The people in the room know our branch of service, name, rank (okay, Navy sorry…only the Marines know your rank…the rest of us are lost), and career field. We even know how to respond based on what is on that person’s uniform…and that is before we have even spoken a word!
When we step out into the civilian world, we walk out essentially muted. No signage announcing who we are, what we did, or where we are in the hierarchy. Now we have to figure out a different way to communicate and it is often one we don’t like…we have to talk about ourselves.
It makes for a tough transition.
When you spend 10, 20, or 30 years in this service before self, mission first environment, most of us never gain the skills needed to market ourselves. Any attempt feels like bragging, grandstanding, or showboating. Since we are not a fan of this, we tend to shy away from putting the spotlight on ourselves.
It’s just plain awkward.
It is also the one thing we need to learn if we are going to transition to a civilian job, do a career change, or dive into entrepreneurship. It is a critical part of networking. I mean, why network if you can’t sell yourself?
So, what can be done in preparation for this transition? Well, there are quite a few things. This list comes from the military transition book I co-authored, Warrior to Patriot Citizen (BAM, a little self-marketing for ya!), and a few other tips I picked up after the book was published.
Before we list the tips, I will tell you I had to reframe the idea of networking. I call it authentic networking. Here is my definition.
Authentic networking is meeting people with the goal of getting to know them on a more personal level first, and then determining if it is someone you would like to do business with.
Notice there is nothing in there that leans towards schmoozing your way into your next job, rubbing elbows to get your foot in the door, or kissing up to someone to use their network? Right. That is because authentic networking is about getting to know the person. Business will only occur if there is a trustworthy connection.
So here are tips to help you authentically connect with others.
Be Y.O.U.
If there is anything you remember out of the entire list, it is this. Be. You. If you are not you, then who are you? Authenticity draws in people. You are either authentic or not…and people can quickly pick up on it. Before anyone cares about what you do, they want to know who you are. You are perfect as you are; let them see it.
Be Interested In Others
Honestly, I think this is the best part of networking; finding out about others. When you are truly inquisitive and learn about others, you also gain insight. Maybe you find out you have a common passion. Maybe your personalities just click and you want to work together. Maybe they are on a journey similar to yours and have resources to help you on your journey.
Develop Elevator Speech
I can spew verbal vomit with the best of them. Great when it is catching up with a friend or filibustering; not so great when you are networking. Search out the right words and practice telling others, in 30 seconds or less, what you can do for them.
Practice Reading Body Language And Room Environment
Our teen son loves to crack jokes, often at the most inopportune times, and is usually met with a short lecture on reading the situation before opening his mouth. Read the person; read the room. If their eyes are glazing over, you probably need to close the face-hole.
Be Interesting, Not Arrogant
There is an enormous difference between summarizing your 25-year military career in a few sentences and listing your entire rack of medals and awards. No one cares about how many Outstanding Unit awards you received. If you develop a solid elevator speech you’ll give them just enough information to ask more focused questions.
Tell People What You Are Looking For/Interested In
This involves applying the above tips. If the room, person, and timing are right, use your elevator speech to concisely tell them what you are interested in pursuing. If it is met with a positive reaction, then get a discussion started. If the eyes glaze over, well then yes, close the face-hole.
Take Advantage of Opportunities
Networking can happen at any moment, anywhere, anytime. The more you get out there and meet people, the more organic opportunities you will have. Remember, often the best jobs are not the ones advertised on USA Jobs, Indeed, or Glassdoor. The best ones are the ones where people are looking for a specific type of person. You never know when you could be that match.
Have Your Contact Information Readily Available
Many times I’ve kicked myself because I didn’t have a business card available to share. In this day and age, there is everything from traditional business cards to digital ones. Whatever works best for you is fine; just be prepared at all times. However, NEVER lead with your business card. There is nothing worse than receiving an initial handshake with a business card in it.
Practice
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Every artist was first an amateur.” Networking and self-marketing will not feel natural to most of us. It is not how we are built. You’ll feel clunky and awkward at first…and it is OKAY! It will smooth out the more you work at it.
Volunteer
This is the ultimate win-win. it is a low-threat environment to meet new people. You give back to a community, learn new skills, and meet many people with a heart to give their time. This also allows people to meet you, learn about you, and see you…your work ethic, commitment, and skills.
Join a Chamber
Every town has a Chamber of Commerce. For a minimal fee, you can join as an individual and meet people interested in giving back, along with growing their business. What may surprise you is that if you listen, you will often hear more social than business conversations going on at one of their events. They are building trusting relationships before they do any business.
Join a Networking Group
Okay, don’t roll your eyes just yet. No, this was not one of my top 10 things to do when I left the military. However, as much as I hated to admit it, I found benefits. Similar to the Chamber, I met people that were in various stages of building their businesses and got to know them as people…and because I got to know them as people first, I built a trusted relationship with them. It challenged me to work on my delivery and it became a safe place where I could practice my networking skills and build my business.
This list is definitely not exhaustive. However, hopefully, these are tips that take some of the fear of authentic networking.
Love to hear from the Veterans that have “been there, done that”. What are your best tips for marketing yourself? Please share…we’re all in this together.
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