How Top Gun Maverick Taught Me Important Lessons About Military Transition
By Donna Hoffmeyer
(Original post on Medium, Taking Off The Armor)
I succumbed to the pressure. I had to do it.
I watched Top Gun Maverick a few weeks ago.
I’m usually the one to wait for the movie to come out on some stream, but this one I had to check out sooner. I was very curious how they were portraying Maverick and the remaining crew in their “mature” years. I was more than curious, I was dying to see how they could top the first movie (pun intended). Mmmhmmm…they did it.
It was the involuntary passing of the torch before he felt he was ready…but how he did it relatively gracefully.
Oh, how every veteran could relate.
We have all hit this point in our career. We still have it…hell, we still rock it out. We own every one of those “been there, done that” t-shirts. We have no fear, maybe cautious and strategic, but not fear, as we have wisdom and experience on our side.
However, we are watching the new generation arrive…eager, excited, willing, and ready to prove. They too have no fear. But theirs is fear without wisdom. We smile, remembering those days.
And this is where we overlay.
We are now in leadership roles and our job is to pass our knowledge to the fledglings. But this is where our fear lies. As we pass the baton of knowledge, will we become irrelevant..a has been? Once they show us our teaching was effective, and they can now hold the reins with some confidence, what happens to us? What value do we have now?
In the movie, Iceman typed the words “It’s time to let go.” The look on Maverick’s face said it all…thanks but no thanks…still got gas left in the tank.
Don’t we all get it? No matter how much we think we are ready, there is that little piece of us that is asking if we should just hold on a little bit longer. However, the reality is, that everything has a life cycle…even the military.
When we go over this threshold, we are doing an injustice to those coming up…and ourselves. We’ve all seen them. The person that has had very limited breadth in their career. They have all the knowledge and instead of imparting it to the next generation, they keep a closed hold. Stovepiping is the term used. Maybe they got out and went back to the same job as a civilian…and have been there for 20 years. They’ve made a nice comfy nest at the top of their hill. It’s big and broad and no one can climb up near it, as it is a fortress.
Don’t be a tool like those knowledge hoarders. They hinder progress, kill new ideas, devalue talent, and drop morale like a pair of cement boots.
Take the scary step. Know when to let go.
I’ll give Maverick credit…he hung in there longer than most would, should, or could. He was the G.O.A.T. of that world; it took some hard knocks to get his claws out of the curtains. However, when he saw they had it, he proudly passed the baton and stepped down gracefully. Something any good leader would do.
Besides, there is nothing more awesome than watching people succeed by utilizing the knowledge and wisdom we share with them. They’ll have their hiccups along their journey, but there is comfort in knowing we were able to make part of the path a little smoother for them.
So, my Veterans and Veterans-in-training (aka…those of you preparing to separate/retire), it is okay to let go. It is noble to let go. It is critical you let go to let the cycle continue.
Just pass the truncheon before you go.
The step off that bridge is S.C.A.R.Y.! The question plaguing everyone’s mind…consciously or subconsciously…”How am I going to find purpose and value again?”
There are a million ways and that is the exciting part. However, it has to start with a bit of a paradigm shift in mindset. First and foremost…the odds are very high that NOTHING you do in the civilian world will be as cool/thrilling/death-defying as what you did in the military. Period. Don’t compare.
Now that we have that out of the way, here’s what you need to know.
It starts with you.
Nothing is going to land in your lap. You have to get out there and meet people. No, get the political kissing babies picture out of your mind. I’m talking about truly meeting people. Be curious. Volunteer your time, donate your skills, take classes to garner new skills, go to the coffee shop and meet the owner, and find a MeetUp group (did COVID kill those?). The bottom line…just get out there and interact with others. It will pay off.
You find your value and purpose by being of service to others. Read that as many times as you need to until it sinks in.
I was having a conversation with a friend and fellow veteran about a buddy they lost to suicide. The comment they made to me was, “he couldn’t find value after he left the service.” It can be a difficult road, but it is a critical component of a successful transition.
There is also something else we may fear…being the new person again. We take off the uniform and our identity is gone. We are now Mr. or Mrs…or Steve or Sarah. Our seniority is gone. Our expertise is out the window. We’re starting over, and that can be pretty intimidating…if not downright terrifying.
But are we starting over?
When you cross the proverbial finish line, you get to do a “Benjamin Button” so to speak. You get to be the new person but with oh so much more skill, experience, and wisdom than a true “newbie”.
Enjoy every bit of it!
Smile every time you say, “I don’t know”.
Gleefully let people impart their wisdom to you.
Relish every mistake. You’ll be given grace.
Ask lots of inquisitive questions.
And you need to do all of it…simply because you are the new person. It is not often, and not for a very long time, that we get to be the newbie. Embrace the hell out of it.
However…
No matter how eager you are to share your knowledge…keep your thoughts/opinions/ideas to yourself for a while. No one wants to hear from the new person immediately.
We covered a lot of ground in a relatively short blog. Let me swing this all the back around.
We need to know when to let go…no matter how scary it is.
Don’t be a knowledge hoarder…pass your expertise and knowledge to the next generation.
Don’t compare your military days to your civilian days…there is no comparison.
It is up to you to find your purpose and value…and you can’t do it sitting at home. Get out there and meet people.
When we don’t find value, the consequences can be dire.
Embrace being the new person…it doesn’t happen often.
And if all else fails, turn on Top Gun Maverick as a reminder of how to pass the torch and let go. (And because it is just a cool damn movie.)
