By Donna Hoffmeyer
(updated for CHW, original post on Medium, Taking Off The Armor)
Many years ago, I was stationed at RAF Lakenheath, working in the Obstetrical Unit. We had a lot of young, first assignment, medical technicians, along with several young, first-time, enlisted supervisors. I overheard a conversation between an airman (Amn C) and her supervisor (SSgt M). SSgt M, a very young first-time supervisor, had submitted an award package for Airmen of the Quarter for Amn C and she did not win. The discussion between them had me both curious and a cross between amused and slightly concerned.
Amn C: Well, I’m just going to submit my package every quarter until I win.
SSgt M: Nods head in agreement
Amn C: Once I have that, I’ll have a much better chance at winning airman below the zone.
Amn C, was a solid medical technician and I was glad her supervisor saw that and submitted a package. However, after hearing the discussion, I was not confident in her reasoning for submitting a package. So, out of curiosity, I asked.
Me: SSgt M, why did you submit Amn C for Airman of the Quarter?
SSgt M: So she had a better chance of getting her next rank below the zone. (BTZ)
Me: And what is your rationale for her to get her next rank below the zone?
SSgt M: Well, she’ll make more money.
Yes, that was her response. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. So I asked Amn C…
Me: Amn C, why do you feel you deserve Airman of the Quarter and BTZ?
Amn C: Because I am goooood!
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to burst out laughing or be very concerned. I decided on an educational moment, and we had a good discussion regarding servant leadership and expanded responsibilities. (I’ll add here, both ladies are awesome and went on to have very successful careers.)
The point of the story was… their why, was slightly misguided.
Over the 21 years of my career (and beyond), I have seen a lot of people with misguided Whys, both in, out, and transitioning out of the military.
Why is it, when we are in the service, so many do not know the core reason why they want the next rank?
I’ve heard more money, more power, padding the resume, and more opportunities. More, more, more for them. Very rarely have I heard what they want to do with their rank. How they are excited to be servant leaders to their subordinate(s)/squadron/platoon; excited to be in a position to mentor the young ones and help set them up for success; excited to learn; excited to collaborate; excited to have more opportunities to work towards the win-win.
Why do we retire or separate and do the same thing?
As I was retiring, I received the same question over and over, Have you started looking for a GS job? (My civilian friends, these are civil service positions.) They asked me as if it was as natural as taking their next breath. My answer was always the same, Nope. It was always met with a slight
eyebrow raise, expressing a bit of surprise.
I’m more bewildered as to why that is often the first question people are asked regarding retirement plans. I never heard comments such as, What direction are you interested in going now? Do you have hobbies you would like to engage in more often? Any interest in traveling?
Why do we retire, but then work hard to try to keep things the same?
One slow night shift on labor and delivery, one of the mental health nurses came down to chat. We were discussing change. Her response completely resonated with me.
Change is hard for people, even when there is an opportunity to change. People will often try to stay in a hellish situation because they know every nook and cranny of that dark room, versus going into the light room, where they are unfamiliar with everything.
Profound.
When I started my master’s degree, the professor told us to read the textbook, pick a chapter and then write a 15–20 page article on a topic in the book in APA format. That was the only guidance. I found myself sitting on my back lawn, arms wrapped around my knees, in tears. My boyfriend (now husband) came around the corner and looked at me very confused. What’s wrong?
What was wrong was, I was already doubting my ability to accomplish a master’s degree, while working full-time and this carte blanche approach completely overwhelmed me. Where were the topic choices, specific guidelines, outline requirement, first draft requirement…aka undergrad writing that was familiar to me? What he was offering was exceptionally easier, but I was so used to my previously more restricted writing (familiar room), my mind was telling me I would rather have it the harder way versus the much easier way (unfamiliar room). Go figure.
The same thing happens in transition. We cross into territory with fewer restrictions and looser structure. We are in very unfamiliar territory, and it completely overwhelms us. Some re-collect themselves, and bravely stride forward to explore this new terrain, while others try to recreate the setup they left…positive or not.
WHY!?!
This leads my thoughts back to an article I first wrote, FFTs (F*ucking First Time). As we move up in rank, we start to get complacent. We are the experts; we own all the proverbial t-shirts; nothing can surprise us; we can fix the unfixable. Sure, we are grateful for our lessons, but we have no interest in going back and learning again. This mentality can carry over after retirement. We don’t want to go through being the newbie or being new at something. Way too much work to re-invent ourselves (even if there is a chance of an amazing outcome). So let’s just continue with what we know…good or bad…and keep our true desires just a fantasy.
I just don’t get it.
YOLO folks! C’mon, you get to determine your path! Where is that adventurous spirit? Your curiosity? What have you always wanted to try, but didn’t have the time? If your commander gave you direction to start a new program, you would do it, without question, and without fail. So why are you hesitating to pave your own path now? Whose permission do you need, besides your own?
Ask yourself, Why am I doing what I am doing?
Afraid? Worried about failing? Overwhelmed? Not sure where to start? Normal, normal, normal. As I tell my kids, make solutions, not problems. Reach out! There are so many resources available and many of them are free! If you are not comfortable, then look around at your friends that are doing it….ask them how they started, what the pros and cons are, what you need to consider, etc… Do your research.
And please, do not think you have to jump into a franchise or start a business. That is not what I am saying. I am asking, are you being true to yourself and pursuing your own path? It could be a start-up. It could be volunteering. It could be an internship. It could be a 9–5 job, to have capital while you start your business. It could be a volunteer job that turns into a paid position. It could be pursuing your hobbies. How it looks is completely up to you.
My husband is a great example of using a combination approach. He came back to contracting and GS work in the same office, right after retirement. However, there was lots of intent behind the move. First, he still had gas left in the tank for the mission. He retired for our kids because they were struggling with his many deployments. This was a gentler transition for him. Second, it was a temporary bridge. His goal has always been to teach college. While he was in the military he finished his bachelor’s and master’s degrees. After retirement, he started adjunct teaching online, one class a semester, and finished a graduate certificate to be able to teach more diverse classes. Third, he only wanted to continue the job about a year after I retired, just to make sure we had a solid financial transition. Now I am pleased to say, he left the GS world 1 year and 4 months post my retirement to pursue teaching. Since he is already teaching one course a semester, he has a solid start for future teaching positions.
To those that have made the leap and forged their own road…outstanding! You are the examples we all need to be following. I don’t know if this is just a coincidence or not, but of all the veterans that have transitioned, the Navy vets seem to be the ones that are leading the way in starting new adventures — nonprofits, podcasts, product lines, small businesses…the Navy folks are hitting it. (And please, if I’m wrong, feel free to tell me your service and show me your business in the comments)
Before you start applying for that GS job, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. You may be surprised at the answer.
We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell
Here are a few places to go to get you started.
Transition Resources
www.Pdhealth.mil/resources-center/intransition
Entrepreneurship and Start-up
https://www.sba.gov/business-guide/grow-your-business/veteran-owned-businesses
www.va.gov/osdbu/entrepreneur/index.asp
https://ivmf.syracuse.edu/programs/entrepreneurship/start-up/ebv/
Education Resources
Volunteer Resources
www.bobwoodrufffoundation.org/
